Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Kidnapper Sues His Former Hostages

This is another one of those stories to put under the heading "you can't make this stuff up"

Kidnapper Sues His Former Hostages

Thursday, November 17, 2011

A Story Of Two Carrots

Once upon a time, there were two carrots. Their names were Joe and Frank. They lived in the big city, they were born in a very nice garden on the edge on a large corner lot. Joe and Frank liked to walk up town to the market and check out the female carrots.

One bright sunny autumn day, Joe and Frank were headed up town. They were stopped on a street corner waiting for the "WALK" sign to turn green. The sign turned green and they began to cross the street. A car runs the light and hits Frank.

The ambulance comes and takes him away to the hospital. Joe frantically waits for some sign or word from the doctors. Joe and Frank were picked the same day out of the same garden. They share a unique friendship that has lasted all summer.

After more than 2 hours of waiting, the attending physician emerges from the operating room. He pulls off his mask and gloves, his gown covered with orange stains. He told Joe there is good news and bad news. Joe responded "just give it to me straight". The doctor says "OK, here it is. The good news he will survive. The bad news is he'll be a vegetable the rest of his life."




Regards
John Crawford

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Blonde On AN Escalator

Someone's confused about the direction of the elevator.







Regards
John Crawford

AutismZone
Accokeek Computers
Mamas Best Recipes
The Cartouche - Science Fiction Reviews


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Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Power Of Prayer

I was laying in bed this morning flipping channels, and caught Joel Osteen on the USA Network. I think he's pretty genuine, and comes across realistically to people. So I like to watch his show on Sunday mornings.

Anyhow he opened this morning with a story on prayer, the power of prayer. Ever heard the saying "be careful what you wish for, you may just get it". You may get exactly what you asked for, and then some.

So as the story goes. A minister was out in the woods hunting. He comes across a bear that also sees him. The bear begins to chase him. The minister stops, raises his arms and cries out "God, please convert this bear to a Christian so he will stop chasing me." The bear runs up to the minister then stops, raises his hands in the air and says "Lord, we thank you for the food I am about to receive."

OK, maybe you had to have been there...




Regards
John Crawford

AutismZone
Accokeek Computers
Mamas Best Recipes
The Cartouche - Science Fiction Reviews


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